Haiku – Daybreak

Posted by MeeAugraphie
Aug 20 2007

Daybreak is the prompt from haiku: one deep breath. By all means click on that link and discover the wonders of daybreak from poets’ eyes.
This one took more thought for me than usual…

Black ice builds layers
in preparation for sun
morning paper falls

~~~

train breaks dawn’s silence
orange glows shyly through shadows
bodies make ready

~~~

we tiptoe down stairs
luggage shares space with cooler
streetlights wink goodbye

~~~

MeeAugraphie
08/20/07

My words and photos are not to be copied without written permission.

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12 Responses

  1. Becca says:

    This brings to mind all those early morning travels…well done!

    Becca, I think we are overdue for a mini vacation, that is where my head went, thank you.

  2. Clare says:

    I really enjoyed all the images and sounds you created, and I re-read them — I love the line “orange glows shyly through shadows” — this is exquisite!!
    :)

    Thank you, Clare, that line I actually edited, shyly was my second thought.

  3. Bone says:

    This was enjoyable, as usual, Marcia. My favorite lines:

    <i>train breaks dawn’s silence
    orange glows shyly through shadows

    streetlights wink goodbye</i>

    OK, that’s like half the lines, I know :)


    Half is great with me! Thanks, Bone.

  4. Ron says:

    I finally noticed how all three worked together to tell a story. Nicely done. Thanks.


    Ron, thank you, it was not intentional, but it does work, now that you mention it…

  5. Tumblewords says:

    A lovely journey ~ ‘black ice builds layers’ leaves a mark in my mind – strong and provocative

    Susan, I guess my mind has already left summer and gone to winter. Glad my phrase left a mark, thanks.

  6. setting off early morning, yes it reminds me of several journeys I’ve made


    Those early morning journeys have been few and far between for me, but I remember the feeling of the darkness and then the dawn well.

  7. Megan says:

    Love the way you painted a picture of luggage waiting at the foot of the stairs and an early morning departure…well done!

    Thanks, Megan, I almost got to live it this weekend, but remodeling got in the way, again.

  8. Heather says:

    Another with different takes on ‘daybreak.’ I like that. I tend to think so literally.

    Heather, it is not a bad thing that you think so literally, because a lot of life is literal and blogging, writing, and poetry are about life.

  9. Rae Trigg says:

    Lovely haiku, all evocative of early morning. I really like the last one, especially the line ’streetlights wink goodbye’.

    Thank you, Rae Trigg, I also love that line; can’t believe I even thought of it….

  10. patois says:

    Visualizing the shy glow. Very telling. Another series of poems able to immediately return me to another time. Thank you.

    Patois, to be able to return you to another time is a great feeling for me. Thank you for sharing your comment.

  11. greggo says:

    lovely haiku! you have a wonderful way of painting a picture with words.

    Thanks, Greggo, I was trying to paint with words since I can’t seem to handle a brush.

  12. These are so evocative. I could really experience them each in turn.

    Patricia, that you experienced them is great. Thank you.

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