Comments on: Haiku - Daybreak

By: Patricia/Roswila

Patricia/Roswila — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 17:06:54 +0000

These are so evocative. I could really experience them each in turn.

Patricia, that you experienced them is great. Thank you.

greggo — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:26:35 +0000

lovely haiku! you have a wonderful way of painting a picture with words.

Thanks, Greggo, I was trying to paint with words since I can't seem to handle a brush.

patois — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 00:17:31 +0000

Visualizing the shy glow. Very telling. Another series of poems able to immediately return me to another time. Thank you.

Patois, to be able to return you to another time is a great feeling for me. Thank you for sharing your comment.

Rae Trigg — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:46:05 +0000

Lovely haiku, all evocative of early morning. I really like the last one, especially the line ’streetlights wink goodbye’.

Thank you, Rae Trigg, I also love that line; can’t believe I even thought of it….

Heather — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 14:48:36 +0000

Another with different takes on ‘daybreak.’ I like that. I tend to think so literally.

Heather, it is not a bad thing that you think so literally, because a lot of life is literal and blogging, writing, and poetry are about life.

Megan — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 02:45:15 +0000

Love the way you painted a picture of luggage waiting at the foot of the stairs and an early morning departure...well done!

Thanks, Megan, I almost got to live it this weekend, but remodeling got in the way, again.

Crafty Green Poet — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 08:42:32 +0000

setting off early morning, yes it reminds me of several journeys I’ve made

Those early morning journeys have been few and far between for me, but I remember the feeling of the darkness and then the dawn well.

Tumblewords — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 05:00:23 +0000

A lovely journey ~ ‘black ice builds layers’ leaves a mark in my mind - strong and provocative

Susan, I guess my mind has already left summer and gone to winter. Glad my phrase left a mark, thanks.

Ron — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 01:53:36 +0000

I finally noticed how all three worked together to tell a story. Nicely done. Thanks.

Ron, thank you, it was not intentional, but it does work, now that you mention it…

Bone — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 23:33:29 +0000

This was enjoyable, as usual, Marcia. My favorite lines:

train breaks dawn’s silence
orange glows shyly through shadows

streetlights wink goodbye

OK, that’s like half the lines, I know

Half is great with me! Thanks, Bone.