12 Responses to “Haiku - Daybreak”

1. Becca on August 21st, 2007 05:33
   

   This brings to mind all those early morning travels…well done!

   Becca, I think we are overdue for a mini vacation, that is where my head went, thank you.

2. Clare on August 21st, 2007 06:59
   

   I really enjoyed all the images and sounds you created, and I re-read them — I love the line “orange glows shyly through shadows” — this is exquisite!!
   

   Thank you, Clare, that line I actually edited, shyly was my second thought.

3. Bone on August 21st, 2007 16:33
   

   This was enjoyable, as usual, Marcia. My favorite lines:

   <i>train breaks dawn’s silence
   orange glows shyly through shadows

   streetlights wink goodbye</i>

   OK, that’s like half the lines, I know

   
   Half is great with me! Thanks, Bone.

4. Ron on August 21st, 2007 18:53
   

   I finally noticed how all three worked together to tell a story. Nicely done. Thanks.

   
   Ron, thank you, it was not intentional, but it does work, now that you mention it…

5. Tumblewords on August 21st, 2007 22:00
   

   A lovely journey ~ ‘black ice builds layers’ leaves a mark in my mind - strong and provocative

   Susan, I guess my mind has already left summer and gone to winter. Glad my phrase left a mark, thanks.

6. Crafty Green Poet on August 22nd, 2007 01:42
   

   setting off early morning, yes it reminds me of several journeys I’ve made

   
   Those early morning journeys have been few and far between for me, but I remember the feeling of the darkness and then the dawn well.

7. Megan on August 22nd, 2007 19:45
   

   Love the way you painted a picture of luggage waiting at the foot of the stairs and an early morning departure…well done!

   Thanks, Megan, I almost got to live it this weekend, but remodeling got in the way, again.

8. Heather on August 23rd, 2007 07:48
   

   Another with different takes on ‘daybreak.’ I like that. I tend to think so literally.

   Heather, it is not a bad thing that you think so literally, because a lot of life is literal and blogging, writing, and poetry are about life.

9. Rae Trigg on August 23rd, 2007 10:46
   

   Lovely haiku, all evocative of early morning. I really like the last one, especially the line ’streetlights wink goodbye’.

   Thank you, Rae Trigg, I also love that line; can’t believe I even thought of it….

10. patois on August 23rd, 2007 17:17
    

    Visualizing the shy glow. Very telling. Another series of poems able to immediately return me to another time. Thank you.

    Patois, to be able to return you to another time is a great feeling for me. Thank you for sharing your comment.

11. greggo on August 26th, 2007 06:26
    

    lovely haiku! you have a wonderful way of painting a picture with words.

    Thanks, Greggo, I was trying to paint with words since I can’t seem to handle a brush.

12. Patricia/Roswila on August 27th, 2007 10:06
    

    These are so evocative. I could really experience them each in turn.

    Patricia, that you experienced them is great. Thank you.

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