MeeAugraphie

Jack and Jill’s Disappearance

Jack and Jill went up the hill twice that day, but only came down once. Jeremiah stopped to chat with them on their first trip up. He told the reporters, “They were such a sweet couple. She was always laughing and putting her hand on his arm and kind of rubbing it up and down as she talked to people, kind of unconscious like. If I were a betting man, I’d bet she didn’t even realize she was doing it, she had stars in her eyes, that girl, and there was nothing that would change that.”

He went on to tell about how she always took food over to Mrs. Nelson on Sunday afternoons. “You see,” he told the reporter from KJWX-TV in Deltona, “Mrs. Nelson’s son, Jake, always went to work in a nearby town on Sunday mornings early and couldn’t be there to make her Sunday lunch. So, he and Jill had this arrangement. He chopped firewood and mowed the lawn for Jill’s grandfather and she spent Sunday afternoons making and eating Sunday lunch with his mother, Mrs. Nelson.”

“Now, you’re gonna hear rumors about Jack and Jill now that they are missing. You’re gonna hear about Jack and Jake behind the auto repair shop last week arguing. I heard Jill’s name was tossed back and forth between those two men. But I am here to tell you, Jill and Jake, they are not an item. Anyone can just look at those eyelashes batting around when she stands there stroking Jack’s arm. Then she kind of moves in a bit closer and rubs up against his hip, about waist high, she does. She’s got no eyes for anyone, but Jack, not Jake, not anyone.”

The reported tried to end the interview, but Jeremiah was not ready to stop talking. He had that camera fixed on him and he was not backing down. “That Jack, he didn’t appreciate my Jill, he didn’t…”

The reporter jumped in, “Your Jill? I don’t understand, Jeremiah, you are just the next door neighbor are you not?”

Well, I’ll save the rest of the story for later, I’ve got to get inside and clean up my house. I’m expecting Jake to come fix my window and I can’t have him tripping over my dustpan.

What? Oh, that. Yes, I will tell you what he said to the sheriff, Jeremiah, I mean, not Jake. Jake never spoke to the sheriff or nothing.

Jeremiah later told the sheriff about why he kept talking to that reporter. “It was my time to shine, my time to get the attention. I just wanted Jack to know what there were men out there that appreciated Jill’s beauty and wouldn’t just keep on talking when she was rubbing up against them like that. How could he disrespect her like that? When a woman’s paying attention to a man like that, he needs to stop doing whatever he’s doing and take advantage of it… It’s too long between times sometimes, you know? I know how to rub right back. That’s all I was telling Jack that afternoon… I didn’t do nothing…”

MeeAugraphie
10/04/07