Michelle, of Poefusion offered these five words on Friday for our use:
mustard - piano - elastic - moat - notorious
My attempt to use them:
Hidden Within One Individual
Mustard oozes from smacking lips,
ragtime piano chords fall flat
as tiny hands stretch beyond their limits
elastic feelings elongate a moment’s joy
into a lasting memory
protected by a moat of
self esteem,
but hidden beneath
layers of abuse,
of abusing.
Even the notorious
have had moments when
they loved simple things,
we just are not privy to
those scattered pieces of their hearts.
MeeAugraphie
12/08/07
Check out what the others came up with here!
McLeesBogaert
8 Comments
OMG! Wonderfully mastered piece of poetry. I truly enjoyed this piece. Thank you for taking the time to share this. I have to wonder, do we ever truly know what one’s memories are? What they have created as their own even in those tumultuous times? Nice job. Keep up the good work. Have a nice day tomorrow.
I don’t think we do truly know, because even if they share them, we are hearing them based on our own experiences and cannot pretend to feel it the way they do… Took me a long time to realize that, so I just present it the way I think it might be. Thanks, Michelle!
Oh beautiful, Marcia… loved the last stanza best of all..what an insightful take. Thank you.
Thank you, UL, for seeing what I meant to be seen.
this was intense… it is so true.. even the hardest individual has moments of simplicity,, happiness ,, and even love… this was wonderful!!!!
I have often wondered, paisley if many of those so heavy into drugs were not so much hard people who cared nothing about rules or themselves, but those who felt so deeply they had to put a shell around them, almost like someone who has so much empathy they remain in pain from others sorrows.
This poem reminds me that everyone deserves compassion, and that we all begin as pure beings.
I’m glad you read into it what I had hoped people would, Christine, thank you!
moat of self-esteem - is such a telling phrase - lots of depth and angst in this poem. I like it!
I am glad you like angst, Susan, grin.
Powerful writing. Thanks!
Thank you, Mad Kane. It is nice to know the point came across. Will be back to read more of your limericks and haiku.
Even the notorious
have had moments when
they loved simple things,
Really appreciate these lines. Thanks for the read.
I’m glad those lines were appreciated, Susan. Thank you.
wow…it makes me wanna cry…what a lovely, beautiful poem…you have used the prompt this week with beautiful sensitivity…thank you…