Friday 5 - Hidden Within One Individual

December 8, 2007 | Filed Under Friday 5, Linked, Poetry 

Michelle, of Poefusion offered these five words on Friday for our use:

mustard - piano - elastic - moat - notorious

My attempt to use them:


Hidden Within One Individual

Mustard oozes from smacking lips,
ragtime piano chords fall flat
as tiny hands stretch beyond their limits

elastic feelings elongate a moment’s joy
into a lasting memory
protected by a moat of
self esteem,
but hidden beneath
layers of abuse,
of abusing.

Even the notorious
have had moments when
they loved simple things,
we just are not privy to
those scattered pieces of their hearts.

MeeAugraphie
12/08/07

Check out what the others came up with here!

Comments

8 Responses to “Friday 5 - Hidden Within One Individual”

  1. Michelle Johnson on December 9th, 2007 00:47

    OMG! Wonderfully mastered piece of poetry. I truly enjoyed this piece. Thank you for taking the time to share this. I have to wonder, do we ever truly know what one’s memories are? What they have created as their own even in those tumultuous times? Nice job. Keep up the good work. Have a nice day tomorrow.


    I don’t think we do truly know, because even if they share them, we are hearing them based on our own experiences and cannot pretend to feel it the way they do… Took me a long time to realize that, so I just present it the way I think it might be. Thanks, Michelle!

  2. UL on December 9th, 2007 01:16

    Oh beautiful, Marcia… loved the last stanza best of all..what an insightful take. Thank you.


    Thank you, UL, for seeing what I meant to be seen.

  3. paisley on December 9th, 2007 10:41

    this was intense… it is so true.. even the hardest individual has moments of simplicity,, happiness ,, and even love… this was wonderful!!!!


    I have often wondered, paisley if many of those so heavy into drugs were not so much hard people who cared nothing about rules or themselves, but those who felt so deeply they had to put a shell around them, almost like someone who has so much empathy they remain in pain from others sorrows.

  4. Christine on December 9th, 2007 11:20

    This poem reminds me that everyone deserves compassion, and that we all begin as pure beings.

    I’m glad you read into it what I had hoped people would, Christine, thank you!

  5. Tumblewords on December 9th, 2007 14:18

    moat of self-esteem - is such a telling phrase - lots of depth and angst in this poem. I like it!


    I am glad you like angst, Susan, grin.

  6. Mad Kane on December 11th, 2007 00:52

    Powerful writing. Thanks!

    Thank you, Mad Kane. It is nice to know the point came across. Will be back to read more of your limericks and haiku.

  7. susan on December 11th, 2007 14:30

    Even the notorious
    have had moments when
    they loved simple things,

    Really appreciate these lines. Thanks for the read.

    I’m glad those lines were appreciated, Susan. Thank you.

  8. LittleWing on December 13th, 2007 15:42

    wow…it makes me wanna cry…what a lovely, beautiful poem…you have used the prompt this week with beautiful sensitivity…thank you…

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