Much effort
frustration surfaced
rewards will follow
if I have to create them
myselfMeeAugraphie
06/27/08
Archive for June, 2008
Work Life,
(more paperwork now, a small price to pay)
Moving Life,
(pack and clean, head to live on beach, HOORAY)
Learning life
(time consuming, but fun, another HOORAY!)
Married life
(somewhat ignored with all above, but time later to play!)
Yes, I miss my poetry, but at the same time, I am having lots of fun. I love making lists, not that I follow them. I love fighting with computer software and new hardware. I love working with Leon, and this move means I will have a separate space for work vs play, and I desperately need that since my blogs and poetry suck me in when they should not. I know that I can resist them a bit more when they are in the other room… well, I’m just going to have to try!
Moving to the beach is one of my dreams – and that is where we are moving. I, like some others, prefer my privacy, the quiet that living a distance from others brings. It was a tradeoff, moving into a middle unit of a condo for sunrise walks on the beach – both for the beauty and quiet of those and for the health benefits.
Rock ‘n Roll and Blues will have to revert to headphones rather than the freedom of clomping around the room with windows open and music blaring… but the lure of the ocean has won, for now. I just hope my neighbors pay me no mind.
Hopefully, by Saturday morning, the almost private beach, sunrise, and I will be well acquainted. And lucky for me (and the business) my physical body and my emotions hate summer heat so much, I will never leave the condo most of summer except those morning walks, so work has a good chance of getting done.
Now, if only our favorite grocery store had not stopped delivering.
I do miss reading so much poetry, but I will get back to it, I always do.
Dear Dad,
One more thing. Thank you for being true to yourself. It took me a while to consciously associate you and that fact, though I think instinctively, I knew all along. Just wanted you to know I was finally aware.
Love,
Marcia
P.S. I still have the drawings you did in the Veteran’s Hospital the afternoon I thought to bring colored pencils and paper. You didn’t talk much then, but you remembered how to sign your name – and you drew two heads, a man and a woman’s. I realized you were drawing you and Mom. Even though it is a memory wrapped in sadness, it is a wonderful memory – because it means you were still inside your mind at that time. And for the record, your signature was just the same as always.
1.
Easy enough to get lost
in one thought
on one aspect
behind one expectation
in one reflected image
behind one loss
easy enough to get there
but how the hell
do you get found?
2.
Negative wrangles Positive
to the ground,
covers him in mud
(or soured chocolate pudding)
seals him in trashed words
from composted brain
then declares himself the winner
and stomps his foot on wallowed head
then struts off in confidence
earned by many wins.
In fairy tales
Positive waits in silence
breath controlled to almost
nonexistence until Negative’s
hand pulls up rope and first leg
crosses its barrier
then with precision Positive leaps
in surprise attack to twist
Negative within the ropes securely.
Positive pauses to give Negative
a well deserved wedgie,
to the boos from the haze filled room
then leaps over the ropes
and saunters from the ring
past Self-Despair clones
and Unvented Frustration cousins
and out into the fresh air of
Positive Intentions to join in their parade
but this is not a fairy tale.
3.
Acting with intent
though of the moment only
leaves chance of results
unplanned by any
but the recessed gutters
of mind.
4.
Regroup
Rethink
Recoup
Too late
Too soon
Or Merely
Too
Overwhelming
For
Two
MeeAugraphie
06/13/08
Muse chose to override work this afternoon.
Muse Versus Adult Me
I do not, for now, spout poetic words
or allow fiction to pour from my MuseHalt! I said, one day last month,
I must redevelop my habits of work
for you replaced them years ago
(with my permission
and his, mostly, too)And then change came
as it often does
and work called and I applied
with joy and intention,
my attentions to my task, butMuse
strengthened by habits set
jumped in at will
to spout her words in poetry,
her posts of everyday life and dreams
and work attention waned,
and so,Halt! I said, one day last month,
I must redevelop my habits of work
for you replaced them years ago,
(with my permission
and his, mostly, too)but this time I meant it
for now.
MeeAugraphie
06/08/08
